Last time, on a very special episode of Delilah’s Fawkesy Lady Sex Tips, we talked a little bit about sexual orientation, and what folks call “The Sexual Continuum.”
We covered that the old idea that you’re either gay or straight is as false as a beauty queen’s chicken cutlets, and that sexuality is more of a continuum than a binary idea.
Today, I wanted to talk about what this means for you!
What REALLY turns you on?
Have you explored all of your options, or are you used to thinking like your parents, media, pastor told you to? Are you sure what you like, or are you sticking only to what Cosmo tells you is the correct way to “do” sex?
I ask because I used to limit myself severely because I was told by my faith that any thoughts that were less-than 100% straight were “wrong,” and even though I supported the gay community, I didn’t know what that meant for me and my life.
Sometimes I liked looking at boobs, but certainly, I couldn’t look at boobs while I masturbated, could I? Or imagine a three-way with a man and another woman (GASP!)? I could only read about straight relationships and straight sex and watch the straightest of porn or …. what did that make me?
If I liked fantasizing about kissing a beautiful woman, did that mean I was a lesbian and had to leave behind my husband and my love of cocks?
These thoughts and more flitted through my mind until I learned about The Sexual Continuum. After that, I learned to explore, and to love those feelings because they were not only natural, but there were what gave me pleasure and made me the fantastic woman I am. They were always a part of me, but they were a part I hadn’t enjoyed fully until I gave myself permission to do so.
So, let’s talk sex.
Ask yourself where you think you are on the Continuum… Here, I made a cool graphic to help!
On the one side you have people who are 100% gay all the time forever. They only like the same sex, period. Deal with it. You are probably never going to get a piece of Richard Simmons’ sweet, sweet cardio buns. Make your peace with that.
On the other side, we have people who are 100% straight all the time forever. I went ahead and picked Charlie Sheen and Anna Nicole Smith because, why not? You all are picking up what I’m putting down :).
In the middle we have, um…. the majority of the human race.
It’s like a sexuality bell curve!
The beautiful thing about the continuum, is that no one is “wrong,” or has to label themselves for liking what they like. And you don’t have to like everything to enjoy members of the same or opposite sex!
For example, I have a lesbian friend who’s happily married to a lovely woman, and yet really, really enjoys Buck Angel and watching gay male porn. Her wife also loves books like mine and Fifty Shades of Grey! I also have male gay friends who loooove believable drag queens and straight male friends who enjoy watching intact transwomen pornography.
And then there’s me! I’m very happily married to a man, yet enjoy lesbian fantasies every so often. Why not? Hell, I even wrote a short story about a college girl finding herself inexplicably attracted to her roommate, only to discover that Jesse has what she wants–a penis!
All I’m saying, is have fun with your fantasies, and don’t limit yourselves because you’re afraid of a label.
Because life is good, and healthy sexual fantasies are part of that goodness!
Explore, read, watch, tease, and most of all… have a blast learning more about yourself, and what makes you tick when the lights go out (or stay on!) ;).
*And yes, I’m back in action! Thank you all for being so patient while I took a blogging break :). Mmmmwah! *kisses!*